Ever felt like you were starting over?
Oh, I definitely have! More times than I can count.
My most recent "restart" arrived after maternity leave, bringing with it the beautiful chaos of life with my 16-month-old daughter. As I jumped back into work to launch a new version of Women Who Market, I started seeing parallels. Just as my daughter has grown and changed dramatically while her core essence still remains the same, Women Who Market has undergone its own profound transformation. This unique blend of personal and professional rebirth made me look at "starting over" in a whole new light.
So, when I sat down to reflect on becoming a first-time mom and returning to work, I noticed something profound: my mindset is different.
It wasn’t like the thousand other times I thought I was starting over. This time, I don’t feel like I’m at square one. Instead, I feel like I’m re-starting, re-setting, starting again, yes, but not from zero.
It’s more like I’m slightly above the midpoint of the hill, already able to see the summit. If the average mountain people hike is around 9,000 to 10,000 feet, I see myself starting at a comfortable 6,000 or 7,000 feet.
Why is that?
Why did I feel like I was starting over when I moved from Colombia at 17, leaving my family behind to "start" my life in a new country?
Or when that Cuban boyfriend, who I thought was the love of my life, dumped me over the phone?
Or when my first marriage failed?
Or when I graduated from college and landed my first "real" job?
Or when I changed jobs because I thought I’d made a mistake picking advertising as my major?
Or when I changed jobs again because I found out the person I was supervising was making more money than I was?
Or when I changed jobs again because I realized I actually did love my major?
Or when I started my side gigs because I wanted extra cash?
Or when I decided to go back to school to get my master’s?
Or when I finally met the love of my life and "started" my life?
In every single major turning point, I really thought I was starting all over again.
Why?
Because the previous chapter "didn’t work out," because I thought I’d made a mistake, because I felt I wasn’t enough, because I believed "that" wasn’t for me...
And that's when the stories would start swirling in my mind. The ones I used to tell myself, and sadly, believe:
"Oh, it’s because I’m starting all over again because I’m an immigrant with no money, no English, and no plan."
"I’m not as pretty as the girl he left me for."
"I’m a failure who can’t maintain a long-term relationship."
"I’m so scared of not being good enough."
"I made a mistake."
"I’m a woman, I have an accent, I don’t have a master’s."
"I don’t know what I want; one day I want one thing, and the next, I change my mind."
"I need extra cash because I’ll never get paid what I want in my job; I’m scared of asking for a raise."
But why did I never focus on the good?
→ I came from Colombia with strong family values, a good education, and a deep faith.
→ That breakup freed me up to experience my youth and meet tons of new people.
→ Timing is everything. Sometimes you meet people at the right moment to grow together, and eventually, you outgrow that phase of your life.
→ Getting my first job allowed me to finally apply everything I’d learned.
→ Changing jobs was a great opportunity to test myself and step out of my comfort zone. It challenged me to be better, to learn more, to communicate more effectively.
→ Going back to advertising and marketing proved my intuition was right all along!
→ My side gigs expanded my network, skills, and experience.
And all those experiences shaped me to be where I am today, so I'm definitely not starting over. I'm stepping up!
The Moral of the Story: You're Never Starting From Zero
The truth is, even when you’re "starting again..." That new job, that new business, that new relationship, that new project, that new ___________, you are never truly starting from zero.
You’re always starting from a higher point because you bring ALL your experiences – the good and the bad – with YOU.
Everything you’ve learned, all the people you’ve met, all the experiences you’ve lived, all that good stuff you have inside of you is coming along for the ride.
So, don’t feel that familiar sense of shame, thinking, "Here I am again, all alone, starting something new (again) because my previous ‘chapter’ didn’t work out."
This is your perfect opportunity to apply everything you have learned into practice.
Look at your previous chapter with kindness, compassion, and gratitude for everything it was. And be excited for this new chapter!
It’s your chance to make it happen, to meet new people, to do new things, to learn more about yourself, and to take you closer to the end of your mountain, your summit.
Only you know what that summit looks like.
So go ahead, give yourself a big hug, hug the ones you love the most, tell yourself, "You got this!" and get to work!
See you at the top of the mountain 💃
All the best,
